Friday, November 13, 2009

Umbrella Aside

So it’s dark in the evenings now and wet in the days; I was forced to spend £6.99 on an umbrella to keep my woolens and impermeable skin dry, I didn't want either shrinking. The next problems was the new and frightening world of umbrella politics. Mainly a tool of social conscience developed in the late 60’s, it is designed to prevent eye loss of passer byes and provides an introduction into the mathematical fathoming of moving 200 opened umbrellas through a river of central London Worker Traffic (LWT), whilst getting only the scruffy wet. Needless to say I am new to the tool so my umbrella had eye balls and even a small raven stuck to the points after only a few meters. In the end my umbrella was confiscated by the wind and I got wet. Well that was £6.99 well spent.


  1. Love the idea of umbrella politics, Mark. Nice observation. Tina

  2. Haha! That made me laugh!

    It has been a very wet summer and and now fall here in Canada. So I know all about the politics in which you speak of. Living in a city as big as Toronto, you learn them quickly.

    My favorite though, when there is no space to manoever past another person on the sidewalk who also has an umbrella, is the 'umbrella raise'. This is when one of you raises your umbrella high above your head in order to clear the objects below. Kind of like Mary Poppins when she is about to fly away. This move requires intense eye contact between persons so that it is understood which person shall raise the umbrella. If you both do out, there will be a collision, a bunch of swear words, and you will both get wet.

    So again, it's all about the politics. I understand.

  3. I had my first experience with umbrella politics the other day. A friend let me borrow their umbrella because silly me still does not own one here in this wet, wet city of Seattle. I passed a woman with a stroller on a very narrow stretch of sidewalk between a building and a tree, and, not wanting to actually make eye contact, made the executive decision to raise my umbrella. Apparently I didn't lift it high enough, because me efforts still resulted in tangled umbrellas and a momentary shower.

    I had no idea there was so much work involved in using an umbrella.
    Umbrella Politics. You described it very nicely :)

  4. Brave girl not owning an umbrella in Seattle :)

  5. i had 3 and you were contemptuous of all of them! X